If you have ever been to my home, you know that you are loved...I seek ways to make people comfortable. If you have ever been to my home, you also know why i am reluctant to invite others into the space. You see, my standards for myself are so high, I don't always meet them (have I ever, I wonder?), and I'm too proud most times to let people see those areas of my life where I feel that I fall short. I spent my early years aspiring to "perfection" rather than "excellence." In doing so, I set myself up for cycles of disappointment and missed out on valuable time with others. Several years ago I read Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver and it had a profound impact on my perceptions of service, hospitality, and fellowship.Although I still struggle with pride and projection, I hope that I am allowing myself to be more open to positive interactions with others and that they are seeing more love and less stress. This I hope for you, too.
For those not familiar, there is an old story about two sisters who were preparing for a visit from a very special person. The one sister, Martha, with whom i often most readily identify, was busying herself with all the details of the household--cleaning, cooking, making the place "presentable." The other sister, Mary, whom I now try to emulate more regularly, was so excited to see her guests that she ran out to greet them (and presumably, offer a big hug and a hi, how are ya?). Both these women had very loving, giving hearts, but their focus varied greatly. One's strengths were in logistics and the other's were in interpersonal communication. Both are critical skill sets, yet we need to find a balance. It is important to be prepared to welcome people, but it is also important not to be so worried about what they might see that isn't "perfect" that we forget to help them truly feel welcome.
I offer this to all of you as we progress toward a season of gatherings so that you might remember to enjoy your time with each other more and concentrate less on what the space looks like.I offer this to myself as a reminder today that my purpose this weekend is to value my friendships, not stress about the state of my space (even if it does require more attention). Time is a limited resource, and whatever time we have here should be spent in loving interaction, not obsessive worry about other's perceptions, or even our own.
May today and all your future days be bright ones! ~pma
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